Belles of the Sound

I always knew Seattle had its share of weirdness and weirdos, but I hadn’t realized that we were “an international leader among enthusiasts for the walking dead.”

How did I miss that?  I love zombies.

At any rate, you can find further evidence of this extraordinary claim in the fact that our city will be hosting ZomBCon 2010, a delightful cornucopia of rotting flesh and gnashing teeth, complete with special guests ready to dispense life-saving machete techniques and gore-splattered movies that are our primers for our survival in a zombie eat – and eat and eat – world.

I’m only partly joking.  For true, the savvy zombie-philes who organize the Fremont Zombie Walk and the Red, White, and Dead events have put together a zombie convention of admirable proportions this Halloween weekend – October 29th through October 31st – with an impressive list of events and famous guests that even the most dedicated zombie-apocalypse-naysayer will recognize, including George Romero, Max Brooks, Chuck Palahnuik, Bruce Campbell, and Ted Raimi.  Buy your tickets here and start picking out the clothes that you are willing to sacrifice – and tear, and paint with strawberry syrup – for this up and coming zombie convention.

You might say it’s just now the beginning of October, and Halloween’s a decided ways away.  I say, it’s never too early to start participating in the ghoulishness that is as much a part of the month of October as the return of the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte (yum).  So, every week this month, instead of going into my normal Go-Sounders-I-Love-You-So-Much narrative, I will instead expound on – and for some, introduce you to – some of my favorite zombie and horror media.  And I’ll start with a few events of the events of the aforementioned ZomBCon that I found to be of particular interest – that I hope you’ll find interesting, too.  I won’t be able to attend some of these, on account that I have a job – unless I man up and just call in sick or use a holiday, now there’s a thought – so I hope some of you will attend anyway so we can compare notes later!  A full schedule of ZomBCon can be found here.  Trust me – there’s a lot more, and a lot more interesting, on the actual site.

Friday, October 29th

12PM – 1PM:  Outbreak, hosted by Max Brooks. A “conversation covering the realities of the coming zombie plague from a public response standpoint. What will be the government’s reaction? What weak spots are there in our infrastructure and general disaster preparedness?” Given our general public response to natural disasters that don’t end with our loved ones waking up from death to fall into our joyful embraces with the goal of chowing down on our organs…well, the outlook isn’t good.  Isn’t Haiti still waiting on 1.15 billion dollars in US Aid from an earthquake that occurred more than half a year ago?  If you missed Jon Stewart’s hilarious take on this very real problem, catch it here.

7:30PM – 9:30PM:  Night of the Living Dead, with an introduction by George Romero.  Needs no further description.  Unless you dislike horror movies, or dislike old movies, or perhaps just haven’t had the lovely opportunity for this sort of exposure.  In which case, here’s a trailer for you.  It’s really charming, in its…you know…how do you say…oldness.  I mean, classic-ness.  No offense, George Romero, okay?  I really liked it and I screamed and cried all over myself when I was a kid.  For reals.

Saturday, October 30th

11AM – 12PM:  “Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome” with Dr. Steven Scholzman.  The good doctor, who is an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and a lecturer at the Harvard School of Education, will tell us how brains can continue to function after death in such a way that the brain’s owner tries to shamble after you and eat you.  No joke.  Educational and horrifying!

1:30PM – 2:30PM:  How to Kill a Zombie with Bruce Campbell.  Self-explanatory…all they left out is whether you’ll get commemorative chainsaw, Army of Darkness-style, along with what will be a fascinating lecture.

Sunday, October 31

9PM:  Premier of The Walking Dead. Hehehehe.

Ahem.  I’ve included a terribly cheerful trailer for this below.

Well, the music is cheerful.

Part of the time.

But for the unfamiliar, this new show on AMC, which naturally premieres to the world on All Hallow’s Eve, is based on a series of comic books that follow a group of people struggling to survive in a world felled by the (inevitable) zombie apocalypse.  A friend of mine did suggest to me today that it’s possible that the show won’t be that good, since most of AMC’s shows are good and regression to the mean means, statistically, they’ve gotta start sucking sometime.

I think that’s silly.

As silly a prospect as the dead returning to life to act the part of mindless cannibals.

Don’t you think so?

I know this is true, because there is a book about it, aptly named How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization, penned by the praiseworthy and perhaps puckish Franklin Foer.

Feel free to purchase the book through the link above, or read further on the matter here, but I just wanted to remind all of you that, out of all the sports currently in existence today, soccer is the only one with the awesome power to simultaneously embody the divisive myth of nations and bring the world together in drunken, unruly harmony (peace is sort of not an option in soccer).  That being said, this post isn’t really about the book.  Sorry.  I just haven’t read it yet.  Next time.

Still, while we’re on the subject, let’s extoll another virtue of soccer:  community involvement.  At this time, our Seattle Sounders, headed by our

photo courtesy of Major League Soccer

favorite Sounders defender, James Riley, is competing with other MLS teams for a $50,000 grant from Pepsi.  This money will be donated to the MLS team cause that gains the most votes.  James Riley’s idea is to help a family affected by a drunk driver by renovating their home. Some other ideas include creating a program that combats childhood obesity (Houston Dynamo), building a water well to bring clean, potable water to Haiti (New York Red Bulls), and partnering with United Soccer Club to educate youth about community gardens (DC United).  VOTING ENDS TODAY. So I urge you, vote here.  Check out the other ideas and vote now.  Naturally, the link I’m giving you is the one to James Riley’s ideas but the other ones are accessible there, I promise.  Be part of donating $50,000 to a good cause with just a couple of mouse clicks.

On a related note, if you watched the Seattle Sounders kick the bejesus out of the Columbus Crew this past Saturday, you’re still comfortably riding a

courtesy of soundersfc.com

sweet victory high.  In the course of that  heart-pounding game we scored in the first four minutes, for a total of 3 goals from Blaise Nkufo and 1 penalty kick from Nathan Sturgis, that’s right, a 4-0 win over the Columbus Crew in their own house where, by the way, most of the fans were sitting down throughout the game.  Yeah.  Can you believe it?  During a Sounders game, we’re an undulating wave of blue and green (and sometimes electricity yellow) and while I would never begrudge those who need the rest time on their sit bones, I feel an immediate and overwhelming need to  condescend to those soccer fans who don’t feel the need to give their full 90.  Psh.  I feel this a strong indication that we will end up really crushing those poor Columbus schmucks on Tuesday, October 5th in the US Open Cup game, for which, in case you were interested in a really amazing Tuesday night, there are tickets still available.  And while we have already broken all major league soccer records in regard to ticket sales for the US Open Cup – more than 23,000 people will be attendance, traffic jam alert, don’t say I didn’t warn you – because I care about you, I am reminding you to buy your tickets for this momentous event.

Okay, but that isn’t even what this post is about.  It is, naturally, about zombies, and upcoming Seattle Zombcon 2010.  Which, as my word count tells me, I will write about in a future post.  But be warned that it’s coming next month, and have your machete/handgun/two-bladed axe ready for this coming rise of the undead.  Keep an eye out.

BRAINS! AND COFFEE!

When people in other parts of the country think about Seattle (which I’m sure they do all the time) they likely think of a whole lot of rain, a whole lot of coffee, a whole lot of flannel and come July 3rd we can add a whole lot of zombies to that.  Starting around noon Fremont will be teeming with reanimated corpses hungry for our waterlogged and overcaffinated brains.  So, if you’re feeling like you could go for a little medulla oblongata with a side of cerebellum, then mindlessly lumber your way to the Red, White and Dead Zombie Walk.  The festivities for the walking dead begin at noon with registration  and visits to the zombie makeup center.

This year the zombie walk is all about reclaiming the title of “Zombie Capital of the World” from England.  It’s like the undead version of the World Cup.  If we get more than 4.026 zombies to rise and march through the streets we will get our title back from the Brits.  It really embodies the true meaning of independence day, defeating England in even the most pointless of endeavors.

Lest you think this is just about reliving centuries old conflicts with Great Britain, there’s also a Thriller dance workshop at 3:00PM and a free screening of Dawn of the Dead at 9:30PM (This kicks off the Fremont Outdoor Movies series).  The actual walk starts at 5:00PM and continues in waves until 8:00PM.  Being Seattlites and therefore not familiar with sunshine, you should already have the necessary ghostly pallor.  You just need to break out your fake blood, rubber brains, and your best Megan-Fox-dead-behind-the-eyes facial expression to join the lifeless masses.

Look here for various zombie makeup techinques and make yourself a terrifying menace to society and join in the bloodthirsty fun!

What could make you feel more independent then mindlessly following a drooling, shuffling mob wherever they lead you?

*truly amazing artwork courtesy Ceci Campagna

Now that Summer has made it’s arrival in the Seattle, it’s time to start planning your Summer nights. And take advantage of the warm evenings and glowing sunsets of the pacific northwest, good company, perhaps a beer or two and a classic movie at one of Seattle’s (and surrounding areas) outdoor cinemas. You can’t go wrong with a night spent laying around on the grassy knolls at Redhook Ale Brewery in Woodinville or snagging a piece of pavement and a lawn chair at the Fremont Outdoor Movies. Surprisingly enough there are several options to your outdoor cinema needs and given our consistently unreliable weather, and weather reports for that matter, you’ll find that they hang on the hinges of that big yellow thing in the sky. But just have faith.

Here’s some of my favorites:

Redhook Brewery’s Moonlight Cinema – On Thursday evenings from mid July through August, crowds gather under the stars to watch their favorite movies projected on to a 55ft inflatable screen, while enjoying some of the finest brew ($4) available in the Northwest. Movies featured this year are: Step Brothers, The Sandlot, The Hangover, Super Troopers, Blow and Fight Club. Here’s a time lapse video of the festivities a couple of years ago at the showing of Top Gun.

Fremont Outdoor Movies – What began in 1992 as the Fremont Almost Free Outdoor Cinema has become a zany, community-spirited celebration of big screen cult classics spiced with interactive audience games and contests. Originally, this was a neighborhood oddity and has now become a much anticipated summer institution. To the predictable fun and popular feature-length pop classics, also showcased are exciting new short subjects in film, video and computer-animated genre rarely or never seen by general audiences. This summer you can enjoy: Twilight: Eclipse, Zombie, Ghostbusters, The Hangover, Zoolander, Metropolis, Pretty In Pink and The Goonies.

West Seattle: Movies on the Wall -  Check out West Seattle’s Movies on the Wall showings for Summer 2010. Movies screen in the courtyard between Dr. Wolff & Hotwire Coffee. Courtyard opens at 6pm, with movie start at dusk. Showings are rain or shine, with rain screenings held at the West Seattle Community Center.

And there are many many more. Earlier this month MyNorthwest.com did a stellar round up of all the area outdoor cinemas, check it out. And get out there and have a little fun!

“Starbucks in Cross-hairs Over Gun Debate.” Haha, that actually took me a moment. Very clever, CNN, very clever.

As you may remember from eighth-grade social studies, coffeehouses have a long tradition of serving writers,philosophers, and those bent on fomenting political change. Where did the American revolutionaries go before dumping all that English tea into Boston harbor? Coffeehouse. Where did all those French patriots meet before storming the Bastille and eventually beheading Marie Antoinette for being both selfish and dense as a brick? Coffeehouse.

Where do pro-gun Americans go to get their caffeine fix, idly chat, and make a statement by openly carrying their guns?

Starbucks!

Apparently, the disheartening landmark Supreme Court case of District of Columbia v. Heller (which is the one where the Supreme Court ruled that the Second Amendment protects an individual’s right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia and that struck down part of D.C.’s Firearms Control Regulations Act of 1975 ) has empowered and emboldened gun rights activists. Since that decision in June of 2008, American cities have seen the erosion of their gun control laws. Right here in Seattle, the city’s ban of guns in public places was struck down just last month.

Gun rights supporters are celebrating this turn of events by wearing their guns openly – first to Peet’s Coffee and Tea, who told them, quite politely, to take off the gun or take a hike.  Then to California Pizza Kitchen, who also banned guns on their premises after several gun owners showed up for dinner with pieces strapped to belts and hips.

Starbucks, on the other hand, has accepted customers who carry their guns, provided that it is done in accordance with the local law.  Per their official statement, Starbucks has chosen not to ban customers for wearing guns because doing so would mean asking one of their employees to ask a law-abiding citizen to leave, which would put the employee in an untenable position (even though it is perfectly acceptable under the law for a business to ask a customer to leave – say for not wearing shoes or a shirt or carrying a weapon).

As a result, we have people who believe more guns equals less crime on the one hand; and people who believe weak gun laws mean more gun deaths on the other – butting heads over double-tall white chocolate mochas.  Naturally, Starbucks has requested that both groups take their political issues to their legislative representatives and out of their coffeehouses.

Now I don’t have an automatic aversion to guns.  I’ve never owned one, but I have shot one.  And I’ve heard many different points of view on this subject.  One person I spoken to, a mother and paralegal, felt open carry laws were a comfort – it’s better to have the visual cue that someone is packing heat; it’s criminals that we have to worry about, and as long as they’re able to buy guns, law-abiding citizens should be able to buy and carry guns as well.  A friend of mine offered the opinion that the Second Amendment was written at a time when Americans “had flintlock muzzleloaders that only worked half the time and half the population hunted for food” and that it was not unreasonable for someone to have to go through a waiting period, training, and registration if they want to own a tool whose main purpose is killing things.

Again, I’m not a rabid gun-control freak.  Or a Communist.  Ooh, or a Nazi, I understand that label gets thrown at liberals a lot now.  In this particular debate, it completely creeps me out that the Roberts Supreme Court can take the very first clause of the Second Amendment (A well-regulated militia) and make it mean “an individual unconnected with service in a militia”, because those two things are the opposite of one another.  I don’t understand how a Philadelphia law that restricted an individual from buying more than one gun a month is unconstitutional (who needs to buy more than one gun a month?).  And you know what, I don’t think that even law-abiding citizens ought to be able to bring their guns into the place where I’m drinking coffee unless he or she is an officer of some kind.  What bothers me the most about it is that, here in Seattle, someone openly carrying a gun can do so with the gun loaded (as opposed to San Francisco, where ammunition can be kept in one’s pocket but not in one’s gun). No matter how you spin it, someone who carries a gun does so because they want to be prepared for a violent encounter – and those usually end up with dead or injured innocent bystanders.  The only time it would be okay is during the zombie apocalypse (out of all the possible ones, I think the zombie apocalypse is my favorite).

That aside – the Starbucks thing.  I think it’s important to take into account the principles and beliefs of the businesses you frequent. It’s why so many of us try to buy organic and local, or why so many of us avoid McDonald’s.  On the other hand, I think all this attacking of Starbucks for their stand on gun rights distracts from the main issue of gun control – which is the control part.  We shouldn’t be up in arms and petitioning Starbucks to change their policy.  We should be up in arms and demanding that our legislative representatives change the current policy.  I mean, they’re the ones with the power to pass laws, and they’re not going to do anything until we get all Naggy McNagster on them.

Also, maybe we should pay a little more attention to the people who get appointed as judges in state and federal courts.  Short of death or retirement, an appointed judge has no term limits.  And they’re the ones who uphold or strike down our laws.

That’s really all I have to say, and it was a lot, I know.  But I’d really like to hear what you have to say.  We can be innocent bystanders together!  Or you might be the one who shoots me, I don’t know.

I’m going to save my favorite movie theater for a later post, because I haven’t been there in a while, and want to visit it again before I review, but I just saw Nine at ONE of my favorites – The Big Picture. I love this venue because it’s extremely intimate (about 88 seats or so), and no one under the age of 21 is allowed inside. You can order drinks before the movie, and they’ll deliver them for whenever you specify – halfway through, 45 minutes in, etc.

A couple of my most beloved Big Picture memories are from when I saw Zombieland and when I saw New Moon. Zombieland was full of people my age, and I was with a big group of friends. People (appropriately) laughed at rude things, and no one felt self-conscious for being raucous during moments of low-brow humor. New Moon may have harbored a bunch of tippling ladies out for girls’ night, but there were no babies and no screaming tweens. It made the movie all the more entertaining IMHO. Also, New Moon was the first time my parents have experienced a cinébar, and now all they can do is sing praises.

The venue itself features a plush lounge area with royal colors and fabrics. There’s also a separate poolroom that groups can rent out if they so desire. All of the people I’ve come into contact with thus far, from bartenders to ticketing, are all extremely fun and good-natured. You even get a Hershey kiss with your ticket!

This is a great place to go between dinner and a night on the town. It’s close to a handful of amazing restaurants, and it’s a short walk to some fun bars.

Cinébars are catching on all over the country, and it’s really easy to see why. It’s a wonderful way to get away from crowded movie theaters, shrieking children (I think all of us have had to deal with this treasure, no matter the movie or the time), or tweens and teens that scream every time Edward or Jacob removes their shirt. *sigh* Really, it’s not that impressive. Thanks for having a shirtless boy walk slowly towards the camera. At Big Picture, with the drunkies getting out of hand, it’s hilarious. In a normal theater, with aforementioned squealing, not so much.

Squealing in a theater should be grounds for expulsion. Unless you’re at the Big Picture, because it’s probably entertaining. If it’s not, at least you can get kicked out for public drunkenness!

As I sit down to write this, there’s a lot on my mind:  The chefs of Wallingford’s Joule Restaurant are currently facing off against the newest addition to the Iron Chef pantheon; I can’t quite tell if the Seven Hills wine I’m drinking has turned or if Cabernet just doesn’t complement Vietnamese vermicelli; and, hey, it’s our first date.  So I hope you’ll pardon me if I’m a little scattered.

Let’s start with names.  It’s not Lee-zel.  Not Lye-zel.  It’s Liezel.  Lis-sell.  Sort of rhymes with Michelle.  As in Liezel, ma belle, these are words that go together well…got it?  (See Beatles album Rubber Soul for the rest of this song.)

I’m a reader.  Not a mind-reader, which is a shame because that’d be kind of terrific, but a purveyor of books.  Books, don’t talk to me about that Kindle thing because it is not the same.  The shiny black of ink on paper, the refreshing scent of wood-turned-page, all bound together into something that will last right through the zombie apocalypse – these are things you can’t say about a Kindle.  I can’t promise that books and local book-y events will always occupy the Monday slot at Seattle Belles – even I can’t live on books alone – but it’ll be a recurring theme.

Now that we’re well-introduced, I’m going to be honest with you.  I do dance around my apartment to ‘80s pop rock.  I relish flicks that I’m told are really bad action movies.  I won’t get up for anything when I’m watching Nate Jaqua play.  I go to All Star Fitness to get my gym fix but, to be honest, I only picked it because President Obama was once sighted there during his campaign.

I think it’s important to begin our relationship with you fully aware of my flaws, so that you can learn to love me despite them.  And if you hate Bon Jovi, Bruce Willis, the Sounders, health, or leftist-leaning politics – well, I may not be the Belle for you.  Wow, glad we got that cleared up quickly.  I mean, I’d like to see you again, but only if the feeling’s mutual.

Same time, same place next week?  I’ll be talking about literary events at Benaroya Hall, Seattle pubs that don’t give you the stink eye when you crack your book at the bar, and why it’s so vital to match your alcoholic beverage to the correct Asian leftovers.

That last one?  Super-important.  On the plus side, the wine is vindicated!