Race for the What Now?

Mark it in your calendars:  June 6, 2010 for pounding knees, wheezing lungs, and sore everything – all for a good cause!

It’s better than it sounds, except that me and running, well, we’re very like the top 1% of American taxpayers and the IRS.

That is to say, me and running come together like sharpened bamboo shoots and unprotected fingers.

You might say that putting me and running in the same sentence would be like putting the words “dinner” and “monkey brains” in the same sentence:  It’s possible, sometimes it even happens, but it shouldn’t, it’s disgusting, it’s painful, and the whole event should be colored with equal parts reluctance and revulsion.

Running and I don’t get along.  I’m not Brittney.  At the same time, sometimes it’s necessary for a cause, for the benefit of others, and I am therefore informing you that that Susan G. Komen’s Race for the Cure is fast approaching and you should sign up.  You know, if you care about breast cancer or saving women’s lives and can stand to go running.

That means all of you, right?  That’s what I thought.

I, myself, have been shanghaied into this event.  I think.  I’m hoping my friend forgets and, you know, if she doesn’t, I think you should join me.  Because if I have to go through it, well, the mean streak in me will only be satisfied if as many people as possible suffer along with.  So register here.

It’s not just about me. The registration fee you pay for this 5K delight (sarcasm), as well as any additional funds you’re able to raise and donate, go towards providing life-saving services to fellow Washingtonian women, including:

• Free mammograms and diagnostics to women
• Medical treatment for qualified breast cancer patients who cannot afford care, including surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation
• Support services including support groups
• Research to find a cure for breast cancer

The event also promotes awareness of breast cancer, as well as education for early detection of breast cancer.  Ladies, remember those awkward, gawky, stilted conversations we were forced to go through in junior high health class about the importance of self breast exams?  Yeah, you should still be doing those.

I make light, but breast cancer is – next to skin cancer – the most common type of cancer in women in the U.S. (lay off the unprotected sunbathing, ladies).  It is also the most consistent killer of women from ages twenty to fifty-nine.  Just $30 for the individual registration fee will get you into the Race for the Cure.  Alternatively, get a group of friends together and register as a team.  OR – and I love this option – if you hate running as much as I do, you can Sleep In for the Cure.  See, as far as I can tell, you register as a participant and raise funds while simultaneously attempting to sleep in as much and as hard as possible on race day.

WIN.

Men, I am calling on you to participate.  I know you know it’s important.  And, hey, we ladies hit the donate button in the grocery store when they ask us if we want to give money to fight prostate cancer.  Look, if you don’t want to listen to me, then you can listen to James Riley.

And can I just say, congratulations, Sounders on your triumph over the New York Red Bulls.  1-zilch, looks like Seattle took a bite out of the Big Apple.

Tags: awesome Sounders Victory over Red Bulls, breast cancer, James Riley, monkey brains, race for the cure, Running, sleep in for the cure, Sounders FC